Daddy Sanzo
by Holysinner5527
Summary: Sanzo never wanted anything to protect and he's happy to say that he doesn't have any. That all changes when Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai are transformed into 1-year-olds. Will our fav priest be able to get them back to normal? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Disclaimer: Nope. Sadly I am not Kazuya Minekura-sama. So sad.

Notes: For all of you who are reading this after my first fic, "What Happens When One Has To Much Free Time" thank you for liking me enough to read my new stuff. For those of you who are meeting me for the first time, welcome! I must inform you all that this is a non-yaoi fic as my other work is. I'm sorry for all of those that enjoy that kind of thing. Enjoy!

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"What do you have for me?" Lady Gyokumen Koushu asked the scientist in front of her.

"I've developed something that will be of great use to my lady." 'And quite entertaining for me.' Ni Jianyi added in his mind as he smirked.

"Well? What is it?" the lady asked with a arrogant smirk.

"The effects are quite interesting ma'am. But I do believe that a demonstration would do better than an explanation." Ni smiled.

"Fine." Gyokumen smiled. She called in a male servant and told him to stand in front of Ni. The servant eyed the deranged scientist nervously.

"No need to worry, now. This wont hurt you a bit. The most you'll feel is just a tiny burning sensation." Ni smile did nothing to calm the man. He pulled out a syringe filled with a liquid that was swirling with gold and silver.

The servant twitched as the needle was pressed into the side of his neck. He didn't feel anything at first but as soon as the needle was pulled out, empty, a tortuous burning filled every pore of his being. Every atom screamed with agony as he felt his bones start to shrink. It was as if the unholy fire in his very core was making him wither into himself like an ant caught under a magnifying glass. His scream filled the large room, followed by the sound of crying.

Gyokumen Koushu watched in amazement. Ni Jianyi never failed to impress her. "For the Sanzo ikkou?" she asked breathlessly.

"If you wish ma'am." Ni grinned.

"Choose one of the assassins, have him carry some darts filled with the potion. Tell him to conceal himself while the others fight. When the moment is right have him hit them with the darts. The Sanzo ikkou wont be nearly as much of a problem when their like that." she smirked motioning to the servant.

"Of course." Ni bowed as he went out. He motioned to a second servant that was outside the door. "Remove the infant from the ladies presence. I doubt she enjoys him crying in there." the servant rushed to obey. Ni just grinned as he walked down the hall. Things were going to get _very_ exciting _very_ soon. Ukoku couldn't wait to see the look on dear Kouryuu's face.

**End Chapter**

Me: Ooooo. What will happen? Dun dun dun!

Sanzo: I told you not to write another! *loading gun*

Me: Its not my fault! Have you ever had an annoying as hell muse shoving ideas into your head randomly?! No! You have not. I swear I was just minding my own business, listening to music, and all of a sudden BAM! Fred shoots me with an idea. How is that my fault?

Hakkai: Calm down now.

Fred: Do you really think I'm annoying as hell? *big cute pouty eyes.*

Me&Sanzo: Yes.

Fred: *sniffle*

Me:…Don't you look at me like that.

Fred: *turns on the chibi cuteness.*

Me: Not the chibiness!…Fine. I don't think you that annoying…always.

Fred: Yay!

Gojyo: So I get to be with a chick in this fic, right? Right?!

Me: Meh, I guess. But just one.

Gojyo: Two.

Me: One.

Gojyo: Two!

Me: One and a half!

Gojyo: WTF?!

Me: You know. One full sized girl and then like…a midget.

Gojyo: Um… I'm good with one.

Goku: Racist bastard!

Me: I don't think midgets are considered a race.

Gojyo: Its not like I have anything against 'em! Its just…uh…well….leave me alone!

Goku: If its not racist then what is it?

Me: Sizeist.

Hakkai: I don't think-

Me: Nope. That's correct. Trust me.

Hakkai: If you say so.

Sanzo:…idiots.

Me: Thanks for reading my brand new fic! The _real_ first chappie should be up soon. I hope you enjoyed and please review, but no flames. Now let me leave you with a question that one of my best friends asked me as we sat in the cafeteria today. Why _do_ men have nipples? Yeah. Think about that. And yes. That _is_ the kind of random crap we talk about at lunch. Welcome to my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: A Normal Day Thrown To Chaos

Disclaimer: If I owned I would sell their things on ebay so that I could by more manga.

Sanzo: What was that?

Me: Well I _don't_ own you so shush.

Note: I'm sorry that this chappie is so short. I wanted it longer but Fred was being unhelpful. Chapter 2 should be much, _much_ longer and a whole heck of a lot better.

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It was just another fairly normal day in the Sanzo team. They had camped out the night before, gotten up and eaten breakfast, killed a bunch of youkai assassins, drove until they reached the next town, ate lunch, got an inn, Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku had went to get supplies, and now the sun was set and they were all out getting diner.

"Hey you stupid fricken kappa! That was mine!" Goku shouted.

"I'm sick of you yellin' at me for eatin you bakasaru!" Gojyo snarled back.

"I'm not yellin at ya for eating! I'm yellin at ya for eatin what's mine!" Goku growled.

"Silence or death!" the duo soon found a gun directly in their faces.

"But Sanzo he keeps taking my stuff!" Goku whined.

"I didn't take nothing! He's the idiot that thinks he has a right to anything edible!" Gojyo complained.

"I said shut up!" there was a loud THWACK as the fan-o-doom did its holy duty.

"OW!" they both groaned.

"If we're done here lets go back to the room shall we?" Hakkai smiled.

They all headed back their rooms. They had only been able to get one double room, much to Sanzo's disdain. So Sanzo and Hakkai had claimed the beds, leaving Gojyo and Goku to find futons for themselves. It was that or the floor.

Gojyo, Hakkai, and Goku were playing poker while Sanzo sat on his bed, smoking, while gazing out the open window.

"Hey! Stop cheating cockroach!" Goku yelled, shattering Sanzo's peace and quiet.

"You must be getting sleepy chimp. Your startin' to see things." Gojyo said around his cigarette.

"Well I'm afraid it doesn't matter since it seems I have a royal flush… again." Hakkai smiled.

"Goddamnit 'Kai! How do you do that even when I'm cheating?!" Gojyo groaned.

"Ha! I knew you were cheating ya damn kappa." Goku pointed an accusing finger at the kappa in question.

"Shut up you little ape!" Gojyo growled.

"Go to bed both of you!" Sanzo fired a few warning shots to convince them.

"Alright! Alright! We're goin'." the duo quickly went to their futons. Hakkai laughed as he turned off the lights. They all settled down and soon they were all asleep.

***

The night stretched on and the youkai assassins started assembling around the inn. They had their orders and they were all rallying to be martyrs. They crashed into the room with their weapons at the ready. By this time the Saiyuki boys were up and ready to kick some idiot assassin butt.

"Sanzo party! Get ready to die and hand over the sutr-" the youkai was stopped by a bullet to the head.

"I was SLEEPING!!!!" this out burst from our favorite monk was followed by an array of bullets.

"It seems Sanzo-sama's a little cranky. But since when is that new?" Gojyo smirked as the chain came out of his shakujou, slicing up any youkai near him.

"Do you want to die, bastard?" Sanzo asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Calm down now." Hakkai smiled as he took out five assassins with a chi blast.

"Hey, after this can we go get somethin' to eat? I'm starving." Goku asked as he knocked in some skulls with his nyoi-bo.

"Well, its nearly morning anyways." Gojyo smirked.

"Breakfast does sound good." Hakkai said thoughtfully.

"Fuck that. As soon as this is over I'm going back to sleep and if anyone wakes me up I'll improve the ventilation in you moronic skulls." Sanzo snarled.

"Of course." Hakkai smiled.

The sun was just rising and there was only a few more youkai to kill. Unfortunately the four didn't sense the one youkai hiding outside. He had gotten specific orders from Ni Jianyi and he was prepared to accomplish the task even if it killed him. He took out the four darts.

"Well that just about does it." Gojyo said looking around. He made his shakujou disappear.

"They certainly made a mess didn't they?" Hakkai frowned as he disintegrated the bodies with his chi.

"Yeah. Lets go eat. I'm really hung- OW!" Goku stopped and looked down to a dart that was sticking out of his arm.

"Hey, what's wrong saru?" Gojyo walked over. "What's that? OW! What the fuck?" Gojyo looked down to the dart in his leg.

"Get away from the window, dumbasses!" Sanzo shouted aiming his gun at the window.

"Ah! AHHHH! No augh!" Goku jerked and fell to the floor.

"Goku!" Hakkai rushed over to the fallen boy. "Ah!" a dart hit him in the arm. He pulled it out quickly.

"GAH! AHHHHHHH!!!!! FUCKING! AH!" Gojyo collapsed to the floor as well.

"Gojyo! Nah! Ah!" Hakkai fell next to his friends as the excruciating pain shot threw him as well.

"What the hell's happening to you guys?" Sanzo asked looking to them and then aiming his gun back at the window. A forth dart flew into the window and Sanzo barely managed to dodge. He sent a few shots at the unseen foe and rushed over to the window. He held his gun at the ready and looked out. A youkai was trying to escape. He was taken out with a single bullet.

Sanzo stretched out his senses to search for any left over youkai. Finding none he turned back to his comrades. The painful screams had stopped.

"Hey. You three idiots alive?" he went over to them. All he found was the piles of their clothing. "What the fuck?" he nudged the pile that belonged to Goku with his foot. The pile of clothes started wiggling and a sound like a babies crying came from it. Sanzo pulled him gun back out and aimed it at the pile. He reached down and pulled the shirt away.

Out tumbled a little toddler. He had messy brown hair and looked up at Sanzo with big gold eyes. He smiled up at the dumbfounded monk, showing only a couple small teeth.

"Goku?" Sanzo asked shocked. He lowered his gun slowly. Gojyo and Hakkai's clothing started to wiggle and soon two more toddlers came out. Gojyo's hair wasn't as long as it had been, it was only to his shoulders. All three of the toddlers were naked of course. "Hakkai? Gojyo?"

Goku stood up on wobbly legs. He walked over to Sanzo and hugged his leg. "Daddy." he laughed. that's when Sanzo did something he'd never done before. He fainted.

**End Chapter**

Me: Sorry for the short chappie people. I felt it would be best if I ended it here. This chapter was _really_ hard to get through.

Sanzo: Maybe you should just quit.

Me: No! I'm no quitter! Besides Fred would never leave me alone.

Sanzo: And once again it comes down to the muse being a pain in the ass.

Fred: I am not!

Sanzo: Yes. Yes you are.

Fred: Hakkai-chan doesn't think I'm a pain in the ass do you Hakkai-chan?

Hakkai: Er… of course not. O_^

Gojyo: You really have to do something about that lying problem 'Kai.

Hakkai: Its not a lie Gojyo.

Gojyo: See. You just did it again.

Sanzo: Hakkai's probably the most honest out of all of you rejects.

Goku: That's not true! I never lie!

Me: Okay Goku. How did the kitchen get flooded again?

Goku: Oh. Um… well there was this squirrel.

Me: For the last time Goku, there was no squirrel!

Goku: There really was!

Sanzo: And the flood wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you wanted to try out your surf board?

Goku: …no.

Me: Freaking liars.

Gojyo: I don't lie.

Me: Then where are my panties?

Gojyo: …How would I know? *cough*

Sanzo: Yeah. Truthful.

Me: Uh huh. Anyways, thanks to all my readers! All your review really keep me going. Please review but no flames. They, you know, burn.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 2: What To Do?_

_Disclaimer: No…just no._

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_Sanzo liked being in control. And Sanzo had the power to be in control. But in this situation he had absolutely no freaking idea what to do. None of his previous experiences had ever prepared him for this._

_Gojyo was hitting Goku and Goku, in turn, was screaming as loud as he could. Hakkai was watching them while sucking on his thumb. All three were still naked and Sanzo was pacing, wondering what to do._

'_Diapers. They'll need diapers.' was the only helpful thought that went through. He was trying to think but it was considerably harder with Goku and now Gojyo screaming at the top of their lungs. "Shut the fuck up and let me think!" Sanzo snapped at last. All three of the children got very quiet…and then started crying loudly. Sanzo wasn't sure what to do with this reaction. "No. Be quiet. Shush."_

_As was to be expected, they didn't shush. In fact they got even louder. And, not for the first time that day, Sanzo was lost. He had never tried to __stop_ a person crying. He had _made_ Gojyo and Goku cry the other day, and had a good time doing it, but that was when they _weren't_ infants.

"Don't cry. I'm…sorry." Sanzo kneeled down next to the sniffling children. He may not have known what to do but he did know a few of the things that they would need. The first being clothes…and diapers.

"Daddy? Goku hungry." Goku said while pulling on Sanzo's sleeve.

'Where the fuck did he get that I'm his daddy from?' Sanzo thought with a frown. "Uh…right. You three are going to have to stay here and I'm going to go get you food and clothes." Sanzo started heading for the door. Half way there something occurred to him. He turned back to the three who were just watching him blankly. "Hakkai's in charge."

***

Sanzo went into the market, keeping a look out for anywhere that might sell baby supplies. He soon gave up and went to a store with a lady working out front. Sanzo had never liked asking for help but in this case he would have to make an exception.

"Miss? Can you help me with something?" he asked after getting her attention. She had pretty auburn hair and sapphire eyes. She looked him up and down and then gave a smile.

"Yes sir. What do you need help with?" she smiled. Sanzo decided to ignore her flirtatious stare. In truth it happened to him so often that he more or less ignored it now.

"I need baby supplies." he said expectantly. "What do babies need?"

"Um… well lots of stuff. What do they already have?" she asked.

"Nothing. They don't have anything at all. Now what do they need?" Sanzo asked impatiently.

"They don't have anything?" she was confused and he could tell. But he'd be damned if he was going to explain the whole thing to a complete stranger.

"Are you going to help me or not?" he asked, trying to suppress the urge to pull his gun out and start shooting. He was too young to have to deal with shit like this. No wonder he already had wrinkles between his eyebrows.

"Well come over here. I'll help you." she led him to a baby store. When they got in she led him to the diaper aisle. Sanzo just looked at it all. There was so much seemingly unnecessary stuff. "How old are the babies?"

Sanzo thought about that. He had absolutely no clue how old they were. They were _supposed_ to be twenty-two and eighteen. But some ass-hole just had to ruin that. The girl was looking at him, expecting an answer. So he made a decision based on their size and speech ability.

"One, I think." he answered as he looked at all the brands of diapers. Why did there have to be so many?

"Um…right. Well what kind of diapers do you get?" Surely he knew that. Right?

"I don't know." Sanzo groaned. This woman actually thought he knew what he was doing, didn't she? "The cheapest ones." he said at last. Some of the prices were ridiculous.

"Are you sure you want the cheap ones?" she asked. "Because the cheaper ones tend to-"

"Yes. I'll take the cheap ones." Sanzo cut her off. Diapers were diapers, right? So the girl grabbed a kart and put a few packs of the cheapest diapers into it.

"Alright. Now they'll need bottles, baby food, toys, clothes, shoes, and you'll probably want a diaper bag. I think that's all." the girl smiled. She was enjoying this. Sanzo just new it.

"Lets just get it over with." Sanzo pulled out a new pack of Marlboros and lit one. Why did this shit only happen to him? If he was smart he would just abandon the brats in an orphanage. But as he thought about it he knew he wouldn't. Damn.

The girl dragged him all around the store, looking at everything. She asked what kind of bottles, what size clothes, what shoes, what baby food, and this caused Sanzo to be **very** close to snapping. He had to find a way to get the three idiots back to normal.

"Look, I _really_ don't know what they need. I've _never_ taken care of infants before. But I need to get back before they do something stupid at the inn." Sanzo attempted to rub the headache away by massaging his temples.

"Wait. You left three one-year-olds alone?" the girl asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. What? I'm sure their fine." Sanzo didn't get another moment to think before the girl had rushed them to the check out and then began rushing back, as fast as she could, toward the inn. Sanzo barely had time to grab his credit card.

He didn't know what the rush was. He was sure that he'd been left alone when he was young. Not to mention he had left Goku alone when he had first found him. The saru had never gotten in _that_ much trouble. He was, of course, much older then than he was at the moment though.

The girl reached the inn quickly. The girl rushed Sanzo to the room and threw open the door. The whole place was in shambles. The pillows had been torn open and feathers were everywhere. The three toddlers had also found the supplies that they themselves had bought yesterday. That, of course, was when they were adults and Sanzo hadn't known just how blessed he was.

It seemed that either they had had a flour fight, they had decided to roll in it, or they had tried to eat it. Possibly all three. It also seemed that one of them had to use the bathroom while Sanzo was out since there was a…mess on the floor in the corner. There was no fucking way Sanzo was cleaning that. No. Fucking. Way.

When the three chibis' saw Sanzo they all got up from where they were building flour castles and ran up to him happily. Goku squealed and hugged his leg while Gojyo hugged his other leg with a giggle. Hakkai just looked up at him, still sucking his thumb, and just held his arm up as if Sanzo was just going to bend down and pick the little mess up.

"I cant fucking believe this." Sanzo managed to say from between his clenched teeth. He was at a level of pissed off that he hadn't even known existed until now. His anger gathered like a black cloud around him that should have sent the toddlers running and hiding. They seemed not to notice it though as they continued to cling to him.

"Well I hope you know that this is your own fault." the girl said as she shook her head at the mess. Sanzo sent her a death glare as he tried to get Goku and Gojyo to let him go. They were getting dirty hand prints all over his robes. "They _really_ need baths." she pointed out as if it wasn't obvious.

Sanzo looked down at them. There was no way he could bathe them. Not when he thought about them as adults. No. "If you give them baths I'll clean up the room." he looked to the girl.

"Alright. What are their names?" she asked kneeling down next to them.

"Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai." he pointed them out. Goku and Gojyo looked at her with childish curiosity while Hakkai hid behind Sanzo's legs.

"Nice to meet you boys. My names Alicia. We're going to go take a bath, okay?" she smiled. Goku cheered at the mention of a bath while Hakkai, still sucking his thumb, decided that she was nice and held a tiny hand out to he in acceptance of the bath. Gojyo however, ran to hide. "Come on Gojyo-chan. Its bath time." Alicia said, trying to get him to come along.

"No!" Gojyo yelled from under a blanket.

"Gojyo take a bath, now." Sanzo ordered in a growl.

"No! No bath!" Gojyo shouted again.

"Goddamn kappa. Come on brat!" Sanzo, at the end of his short patience, grabbed the boy and the screaming and kicking began.

It took quite a while and quite a bit of work on Sanzo and Alicia's part to get the chibi kappa into the tub with the other two but they finally managed. When they were all in there Alicia retrieved the baby shampoo, body wash, and wash cloths. Sanzo went back to the room to start cleaning the huge mess.

While he was cleaning Jeep came out from some hiding spot that he had stashed himself in to protect himself from the raging chibis'. "You alright Jeep?" Sanzo asked the little dragon as he flew to the bed. Jeep nodded and let out a weary cheep.

Sanzo continued cleaning and he finally got the room in order. He was just finishing when Alicia brought the three chibis' in. they were all clean and wrapped in big fluffy towels.

"Daddy! Hungry! Goku hungry!" the little saru yelled as he squirmed out of Alicia's arms and over to Sanzo.

"Feh. Fine. You get them in diapers and pajamas and I'll get them food." he ordered Alicia. She went over and began wrestling the kids into their clothes.

Sanzo got into one of the bags and brought out some baby food. He brought it over to where they were now waiting. Alicia had them all at the table and they were banging on the table impatiently. Sanzo opened p the cans of mush and him and Alicia started on the task of feeding the children. Sanzo soon learned that this was harder than it should have been. Goku was pretty easy to feed, but how is that a surprise?

It was Gojyo and Hakkai that were the challenge. In truth Hakkai wasn't _that_ bad. It was just hard to get him to take his thumb out of his mouth long enough to get food in. it was Gojyo who was the real problem. He continuously turned his head, or slapped the spoon away, or spit out the food that they had finally managed to get in his mouth. It was exhausting.

Sanzo was trying _really_ hard not to pull out his gun and start firing at the chibis'. he knew it would just make them cry and that was the last thing he wanted to happen. He already had a headache and it wasn't going anywhere fast.

"Well I think their full. Lets just clean them up a bit." Alicia got a wet cloth to wipe the goo off their faces. By the time they were clean again they were all yawning enough for it to just about burst their jaws. "If you have it under control I'm going to get going." Alicia smiled.

"Hn." Sanzo lit up a much needed Marlboro. "Thanks for the help." she at least deserved at thanks he figured.

"It was no problem. They're so cute. How'd you get them?" she asked.

"Long story." was all the answer Sanzo offered. 

"I see. I guess I'll see ya." she grinned at him once more and left. 

"Alright. Get in bed mini-idiots." Sanzo ordered, looking at the tired chibis'. Hakkai squirmed up into the bed and snuggled up to a pillow. His thumb was _still_ securely in his mouth and it wasn't two minutes before he was asleep. Goku was trying to jump up on the bed but was failing every time. He turned to look helplessly at Sanzo.

"Daddy, up." he held his arms up to Sanzo expectantly. Sanzo huffed but did bend down and pick the saru up. 

"Gojyo, get in bed." Sanzo sent a glare to the kappa who was trying to hide.

"No! No bed! I no want bed!" Gojyo yelled.

"Well that's too fucking bad." Sanzo snapped. He was trying to set Goku on the bed and was failing each time. The stubborn saru was clinging to the front of his robes desperately. "Let go bakasaru." Sanzo tried to pry the boys hands off.

"Goku sleep with daddy?" Goku asked, looking up with big cute eyes.

"No. your going to sleep in this bed with Hakkai and Gojyo." Sanzo frowned.

"But Goku want to sleep with daddy." the saru pleaded. "Pwease?"

"Just sleep in your own bed this time." Sanzo sighed. He was too tired to deal with this. Goku finally let go and sat on the bed.

Sanzo went over to where Gojyo was trying to hide behind the curtains. It didn't help that he kept peeking out and giggling. Sanzo marched angrily over to the kappa's 'perfect' hiding place. 

"Get in bed kappa." Sanzo ordered in a voice that an older Gojyo would know not to mess with.

"I not here. Daddy cant see me." Gojyo giggled. Sanzo huffed and reached behind the curtains and pulled Gojyo out by the back of his pajamas. Gojyo squealed and tried to get away by kicking. It didn't work and Sanzo dumped the laughing boy on the bed.

"Listen up you two." Sanzo said, getting the two awake chibis' attention. "You need to stop calling me daddy. I'm _not_ your dad. Just say Sanzo. I'm _Sanzo._" he explained with as much patience as he could manage. Which wasn't much.

Both of them just looked at him blankly. They didn't get it and he knew it. He gave a sigh and tucked them into bed. Goku wiggled and Gojyo shoved him. Sanzo made an irritated noise in the back of his throat and picked Gojyo up, putting him on the other side of Hakkai.

"Daddy? Story?" Goku asked as he snuggled into the blankets.

"No." Sanzo said in a tone of finality. So much for getting them to stop calling him daddy.

"Pwease daddy." Goku begged.

"Yeah! Story!" Gojyo added.

"I said no." Sanzo growled.

"Pwease." they begged together.

"Fine! Once upon a time there was a priest who was forced on a goddamn stupid mission with three idiots to go all the way to mother fucking India. On the way tons of time consuming shit happened that was extremely pointless. But then one day the very best freaking interruption came along. The three dumbasses that the priest was forced to travel with got shot with darts and became fucking one-year-olds. Now their calling the priest daddy and making him tell them stories. So now the very pissed off priest has to find a way to turn their asses back to their normal annoying selves. As of now, the end." he ranted. Surprisingly the two had fallen asleep during Sanzo's little tirade.

Sanzo let out another sigh and went over to his bed. Jeep came with him and landed on the bed next to him. He looked up to Sanzo and then worriedly over to Hakkai. "Cheep?" he let out. Sanzo exhaled the smoke of a new Marlboro and watched as it dissipated. He looked at Jeep's curious eyes.

"Yeah. I know. We'll have to find a way to get them back to normal. But in the mean time get some sleep. We cant do a thing right now." Sanzo stamped out his cigarette and lay down. It wasn't long after he was asleep that Goku came over, just managing to get up into the bed and snuggling up to Sanzo. A while after that Hakkai came over, also curling up. Lastly Gojyo came over to curl up in the bed as well.

Jeep looked at it and curled at the end of the bed. His only thoughts at the moment being, 'He's going to be mad when he wakes up in the morning.'

**End Chapter**

Me: Few! I'm exhausted!

Gojyo: How are _you_ exhausted? You never do anything.

Me: I take great exception to that! I do a lot. My exams were last week and I worked my ass off.

Hakkai: Maybe it would have been easier if you weren't trying to focus while still writing fan fiction. Do you really think that that was the best time?

Me: Yes…yes I do. I couldn't stop myself. Its so much more fun than history homework! Besides, I liked this chappie.

Gojyo: Yeah. It really proved how much of a softy Sanzo-sama is. Hey Sanzo, if this ever really happened would you take care of us?

Sanzo: Can your head stop a bullet?

Gojyo: …no.

Sanzo: Then shut up.

Goku: Holysinner! Fred took my candy again!

Me: Freddie! I told you to stop doing that!

Fred: But… I really like candy.

Me: That doesn't matter. Now you have to be punished… supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!

Fred: AHHHH!!! NOOOO!!!! *runs back under the bed.*

Saiyuki boys: WTF? 

Me: Fred has Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. You know, the fear of long worlds.

Gojyo: Wouldn't it have been easier just to say fear of long worlds?

Me:…probably.

Hakkai: So when you want to punish Fred you just say a big word?

Me: Yep. It always works.

Goku: Awesome! *runs off to torture Fred.*

Sanzo: Dumbasses.

Me: Thanks for reading my friends! Oh, and I really don't know why chapter 1 is underlined. I tried to fix it but I cant. I wont know until I post this chappie if it will be underlined as well. My only hope is that none of you have the phobia of underlined words. Which I don't know the name for. Please review but no flames. They sort of suck.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3: To Solve A Problem

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think that I'm Kazuya Minekura-sensei? Cause if you do your wrong.

Notes: After my last two chapters were underlined I'm guessing that this chapter will be as well. I really don't know how to fix it and if any of you do please tell me. Thanks.

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When Sanzo woke up the first thing he noticed was the comfortable warmth. The second thing was the uncomfortable weight on his chest. He slowly opened his eyes to see a lump under the blankets on his chest. There were two other lumps on each side of him.

Sanzo pulled the blankets down to reveal Goku curled up like a cat on top of him. He was sleeping soundly. Gojyo and Hakkai were also curled up asleep. Gojyo was twirling his hair slowly while Hakkai still sucked his thumb.

Sanzo sat up slowly and lay Goku down on the bed. Why couldn't they just stay on their own freaking bed? Stupid brats. "Hey! All of you wake up. I don't care if you are chibi idiots now. We still have somewhere to go." Sanzo shook them.

They all slowly woke up and looked at him. Goku yawned and Gojyo rubbed his eyes. Hakkai stood up and raised his arm (the one not attached to the thumb that was constantly in his mouth.) and made a sound to try and get Sanzo to pick him up.

Sanzo frowned at the boy but picked him up all the same. He did _not_ want them to cry again. that's when he smelled something terrible. He looked at Hakkai, who just looked back innocently, and had to fight the undeniable urge to shoot the child. that's when he realized that Hakkai was wet. How could he be wet? He had a diaper on.

Sanzo checked the other two and found them to be wet as well. Sanzo lay Hakkai down and unzipped his pajamas. (This is about as close to yaoi as you'll ever get in my fics. Hehehe.) His pjs were soaked completely through. The damn diaper had leaked.

Sanzo took the soiled pajamas by a dry spot and put it in the dirty clothes bag. He next took off Goku's and nearly vomited taking off Gojyo's. His diaper had leaked like the other two's but not in the much better just pee way. Sanzo just threw those in the trash.

He would have to change their diapers. Sanzo knew this deep down. The only problem was that the priest didn't want to accept this terrible truth. He was trying to think of _any_ way at all out of the disgustingly horrible deed. There was a part of him, the part that believed that anything could be solved with his Smith&Wesson, that was whispering for him to simply shoot them and be done with it. And Sanzo had to admit that, that way he _wouldn't_ have to touch them.

After a while he accepted the harsh reality that he would have to change them. He could think of no way, except killing them, to get through it. And he wasn't about to kill them and let the bastards get off easy with all the shit they were putting him through. So he went down into the inn's kitchen to get what he would need.

He came back a few moments later with salad tongs, elbow length rubber gloves, and a cloth. He lay the three toddlers down and next to each other on the bed and tied the cloth around his mouth and nose. He then put the gloves on and grabbed the tongs. He would start with Hakkai.

Hakkai, fortunately, had only wet his diaper. So Sanzo changed him pretty easily. He had to struggle to remember how to do it like Alicia had instructed him. He remembered what she had said about diaper rash and the last thing he wanted was to give the chibis' another reason to cry. Sanzo secured a new diaper on him and promised himself that he would buy new, more expensive, diapers later. He needed some that didn't leak.

Gojyo was next in line to be changed. Sanzo gagged as he opened the diaper with the tongs. He started cleaning him off and nearly threw up. Why did he have to do this? He was a Sanzo priest damnit! Why did this have to happen to him? That's it! When they got turned back to normal he was shooting them all…numerous times. He might even sutra their asses.

However, in the mean time he would just have to force himself to finish this task. He finished with Gojyo and moved on to Goku. He cleaned the saru up and was about to put the new diaper on him when the chibisaru decided that he needed to pee. Bad. So, as children that age do, he just started to go.

Sanzo let out an outraged yell as he tried to stop the fountain of urine. He finally threw one of the new diapers over that part of Goku and waited until the child had stopped. "Think you done?!" he snarled at Goku, who just laughed. Sanzo _really_ needed to hit something. But he knew that if he hit one of the chibis' they would just cry. Damn.

He secured the new diaper on the squirming toddler quickly. He then began searching through the many bags for clothes for them. He pulled out three outfits and started wrestling the chibis' into them. He finally got them all dressed and all of their stuff packed. "Daddy. Goku hungry. Real hungry." Goku pouted.

Sanzo huffed and filled three bottles with milk. 'That should hopefully hold them over.' Sanzo thought. But after that he was faced with yet another problem. How was he supposed to get all three of them and all the bags down the stairs in one trip? Sanzo was a pretty lazy person sometimes and the staircase going up to their room was much to long to make numerous trips.

So Sanzo got an idea. He went over, opened the window and turned to Jeep. "Jeep, go down there under the window and transform." Sanzo ordered. Jeep let out a cheep and flew down to obey. Once he was down there, and in jeep form, Sanzo carefully dropped all of the bags into him.

Smirking at his own genius Sanzo then looked over to the chibi morons who were busy jumping on the bed. He was going to have to carry them, wasn't he? Goku and Gojyo could walk fairly well but Hakkai stumbled around quite a bit. In fact the only one he hadn't seen fall down at some point was Gojyo. So he would carry Hakkai and Goku down the stairs and Gojyo could walk.

Sanzo picked up both Goku and Hakkai and then turned to Gojyo. "You follow me kappa." he ordered. Gojyo climbed down from the bed and followed obediently. The stair case at this particular inn was long, narrow, and considerably steep. So it was pretty hard to walk down it with two toddlers in your arms. It was even harder to go down if you were one.

But Sanzo made it. Once he reached the bottom he sat the two chibis' down. He looked back to see Gojyo slowly making his way down the treacherous staircase. "Hurry up kappa. I don't have all freaking day." Sanzo said harshly. Gojyo immediately started trying to come faster to his daddy. The only problem was that, as a one-year-old, the chibi kappa didn't have the best balance. So, on the third step up from the bottom, Gojyo slipped.

Sanzo, acting on a primal instinct, rushed forward to catch the boy. He saved Gojyo from landing on his face but the chibi had still scrapped his knee. Sanzo sat the boy down on the bottom step and kneeled down next to him.

Gojyo looked at his knee and saw a little drop of blood that had spilled from the cut. He then looked up to Sanzo with panicked eyes and burst into tears. He cried loudly, making it sound as if he had gotten a leg ripped off.

"Shush! Be quiet! Your fine Gojyo!" Sanzo said harshly. He grabbed a bandage out of the diaper bag and put it on the tiny wound. Gojyo looked at the band aid and then up to Sanzo. He was still sniffing quietly.

"Daddy kiss it?" he asked completely seriously. Sanzo just looked at him. "Daddy kiss it." Gojyo repeated. This time it was an order.

"No. there's no fucking way I'm kissing any part of you, cockroach." Sanzo snarled.

"Daddy kiss it!" Gojyo ordered again loudly.

"No!" Sanzo shouted back. They were now getting the attention of all the other people in the inn.

"Why not daddy kiss it?" Gojyo asked now crying again.

"Because its disgusting." Sanzo explained angrily.

"I wants you to kiss it." Gojyo sobbed while rubbing at his eyes.

Sanzo was wondering what to do. There was absolutely _no way_ that he was kissing his knee. Or any other body part for that matter. But he had to stop the moron from crying and get him to the jeep. Sa Sanzo decided to try a, still unfavorable but not as bad, alternative. He made sure that the kappa was watching him and then brought his own finger to his lips and pressed his finger to them. He then brought the finger that he had "kissed" and pressed it to Gojyo's knee.

Gojyo starred at him for a moment before letting a huge grin take over his face. "Thanks you daddy!" he stood up and hugged Sanzo before the monk had a chance to get away.

"Get off me child." Sanzo pushed Gojyo away and put him down next to the other two. He stood back up and looked down at the chibis'. "Come on. We've got to go." he walked out to where Jeep was waiting. The kids followed him, almost running in order to keep up.

Sanzo sighed at the fact that he would have to drive. So he picked all the kids up and put them in their seats. Goku and Gojyo sat in the back like usual. The only difference from their usual seating arrangement was that Hakkai was sitting in the passenger seat.

Sanzo got into the drivers seat and started Jeep up. He had done this once before. He pretty much knew what to do. 'This one is the accelerator, right? Yeah. That's the one. Tch, this wont be so hard.' he thought as he stomped on the gas. Jeep flew backwards and they came about a foot from hitting a building. Sanzo slammed his foot quickly on the brake.

He hadn't known it was in reverse. Gojyo and Goku had screamed at the top of their lungs while Hakkai had laughed around his thumb. For some reason he was enjoying Sanzo nearly killing all of them.

Sanzo put it in drive and tried to ease it onto the road that led out of town. He stepped to hard again and sent them flying along the road much to quickly. Hakkai laughed loudly again and Goku and Gojyo squealed. Sanzo stomped on the brake to hard and Jeep slammed to a halt.

"No daddy!" "Not again!" Gojyo and Goku yelled at the same time. Sanzo turned to frown at the boys in the back. He then looked at Hakkai, who was smiling up at him around the ever present thumb.

"They seem like quite the handful." came a feminine voice from beside Sanzo.

He quickly turned to see Kanzeon Bosatsu in all of her why-bother-with-a-top glory. A few colorful words made there way through Sanzo's mind as he lay his eyes on her. "What do you want, hag?" he asked with a glare.

"Now, now. Is that any way to talk to your auntie, Konzen? Woops. Sanzo. Your Sanzo now. My bad." she grinned at him.

"You never answered my question of what do you want?" Sanzo repeated in a growl.

"Why to congratulate you on your latest screw up my dearest nephew!" Kanzeon smiled. She went to look at the two chibis' in the back. They both stared up at her with big eyes.

"If you don't have anything useful to say then leave." Sanzo snarled.

"Aren't you guys adorable!" Kanzeon gushed as she ruffled Goku and Gojyo's hair. She completely ignored Sanzo.

"Is there an actual reason you're here?!" Sanzo snapped.

"Of course there is. I came to tell you how to get these cuties back to normal." the so-called merciful goddess smirked.

"You know how to get them back to normal?" Sanzo asked hopefully. She _was_ a goddess. Maybe she could just poof them back to their normal, annoying selves. "How?"

"Your going to have to travel to a town a ways away from here. The town is at the base of a mountain. On this mountain is an elderly sorcerer named Oza. He's a bit…off, for lack of a better word, but he should be able to put these bundles of joy back to normal." she grinned.

Sanzo should have known it wouldn't be as easy as the not-so-merciful just taking care of the problem. When had she ever done anything to make life easier? "I'm going to need a map with the way highlighted." Sanzo sighed.

"Oh I know. You'll probably get hopelessly lost even with the map so I wouldn't dream of sending you without one." a teasing light shined in her eyes. Sanzo gave her a glare.

"Daddy? Who scary lady?" Gojyo asked pointing at Kanzeon.

"You can call me auntie." the goddess smiled.

"How long will this take?" Sanzo growled out.

"Oh, about a week. Maybe two." Kanzeon said airily as she waved the thought away.

"Two weeks?!" Sanzo repeated angrily.

"Well, taking your driving into consideration, maybe like…three months. At the least." she laughed.

"I can drive. I just have to get the hang of it." Sanzo said slightly defensively.

"Of course. Well here's the map." a map popped into existence and she handed it to him. "Good luck." and she was gone.

"Goddamn unhelpful hag." Sanzo grumbled. that's when a pop sounded and there were three carseats in the floor of the jeep. Attached was a note that read,

These are for the kids. So they don't get killed by your driving. Make sure to buckle them in correctly.

Love,

Auntie.

Sanzo crumbled up the note and tossed it into the air. He then pulled his gun and unloaded a full round into the note. He then got out of Jeep and grabbed one of the carseats.

Sanzo picked Hakkai up, put the seat under him and sat the chibi back down. He then did the same with the other two. He grabbed the complicated buckles and started trying to get them fastened. After ten minutes of futile effort Sanzo was getting steadily more and more pissed off.

"Would you sit still Hakkai?" he snapped. He pulled the thumb out of his mouth for the tenth time so that he could put the chibi's arm threw the strap. Hakkai frowned as he tried to pull his arm away from Sanzo's grasp to get his thumb back to his mouth.

Sanzo finally got fed up and decided to just tie the straps together. That should be just as safe. Besides Sanzo wasn't planning on crashing anyways. So they should be just fine. He did the same with Goku and Gojyo's seats and returned to the drivers seat.

He put Jeep back into gear and took off down the street. He _was_ going pretty fast but it wasn't any worse than Hakkai's driving on a bad day. Or at least Sanzo thought so. Gojyo and Goku would squeal every time he hit a bump. Hakkai just continued to giggle around the thumb that was always there. In truth it was starting to get on Sanzo's nerves for unknown reasons. He'd have to try and get the boy to stop with the thumb. But all in all it could have been worse.

**Chapter End**

Me: Jeeze. This chappie took forever.

Hakkai: Well at least your done.

Me: True.

Sanzo: Your _so_ lucky you didn't make me kiss the kappa's knee. *glares*

Gojyo: For real! That's disgusting.

Me: Oh come on. He's 1 in the fic.

Sanzo: It _really_ doesn't matter.

Gojyo: Agreed.

Me: Yeah well you didn't have to kiss him did you? And you can blame the whole thing on Fred. The whole "Kiss it." scene was his idea.

Sanzo: Its always the damn muses fault.

Me: Yup.

Gojyo: Where is he? I'm hurting him.

Goku: Under the bed.

Gojyo: *Walks over to Holysinner's bed.* Hey! Get out here muse!

Fred: *poofs in front of Gojyo.* Yes, Gojyo-chan?

Gojyo: I cant believe you. I'm sick of you planting stupid ideas in Holysinner head. *reaches to attack Fred.*

Fred: In the name of the moon I will punish you! *hits Gojyo with a rose and poofs back under the bed.*

Sanzo: What the hell was _that_ about?

Me: Fred's been watching Sailor Moon. _Someone _gave him a DVD and he decided to watch it last night. *glares at Hakkai.*

Hakkai: I just thought he would like it. *smiles innocently.*

Sanzo: Why did you have a Sailor Moon DVD?

Hakkai:…I don't know. I just found it one day.

Me: Yeah well, do you know how annoying it is to hear the phrase, "In the name of the moon we will punish you." over and over and over from under your bed, while your trying to sleep?

Hakkai: Well…no.

Me: Lucky bastard.

Goku: So where did you find that DVD, Hakkai?

Hakkai: In Jeep one day.

Goku: You gave Fred my DVD?! Give it back Fred! *tries to fit under the bed to get to the muse.*

Gojyo: Why do _you_ have a Sailor Moon DVD?

Goku: It's a good show!

Me: I have to disagree. It repeats itself so much it hurts.

Goku: Does not!

Me: Whatever you say chibisaru.

Goku: *tries getting under the bed again.*

Me: Well thank you for reading everyone! It really means a lot to me! I'm sorry that my chappies' are so short so far. I'm planning ways to make them longer and a lot better all around. Hopefully. Please review but no flames. If I wanted to get warm I'd turn the heat up.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4: Ukoku plans and youkai attacks

Disclaimer: Yeah…no.

Notes: Whew. I'm would like to apologize for how long it has taken me to update this fic. I got distracted with my fic Chibi Days and, heh, well I'm sure you guys know how that goes. Updates will be coming a lot more often, promise. Thanks to all of you reviewers. I love ya! *wink*

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"Are you watching the Sanzo-ikkou _again_?" Dr. Hwang asked as she approached Ukoku. The corrupt priest was gazing into one of the monitors with a small grin on his face. "We have work to do."

"Calm down. If you keep stressing like that your hair will turn gray and you'll get wrinkles." Ukoku smiled.

"This is no time for your ill placed humor, Ni." Hwang growled.

"Yes, yes. Its just so very fascinating, seeing little Kouryuu trying and control those chibis'" Ukoku smirked again.

"Why? What's happened now?" Hwang peered into the monitor to see Sanzo yelling at the other members of his team as they all ran from his efforts to try and get them back into the jeep.

"Aren't they cute?" Ukoku grinned in her ear.

"That sounds disturbingly criminal coming from you." she glared at him. Hwang was truly disgusted by this man.

"Now why would you say something mean like that?" Ukoku gave her the grin that he knew annoyed her the most. He loved irritating her. It was too much fun.

"What are you planning?" Hwang looked with untrusting eyes at the mad scientist.

"I've had a thought. You know I made the serum that reverted Kouryuu's little friends into toddlers. Well, I've also made a serum that reverses the effect. All I need is to get those three little precious chibis' here. After that…well, how do you think little Kouryuu would react if he saw his friends, all grown up again, without any of their memories, and their only goal…is to kill him?" Ukoku smiled wickedly at the shocked look on Hwang's face.

***

"Listen all of you! I'm going to shoot all of you bastards and throw your tiny, waist of flesh, corpses in the river if you don't get back in the jeep!" Sanzo snarled. He had known that stopping for lunch was a bad idea. But Goku and Gojyo had been being _so_ annoying. Goku had finished his bottle quickly and then immediately started whining for food. Gojyo had finished off his bottle and then promptly joined Goku.

It only took a couple of minutes for the two mini-morons to compose a song that they sang at the top of their voices. It went, "Hungry! Hungry! We is hungry! We so hungry! Daddy should give us food!" Not only was this extremely annoying but the song had soon gotten stuck in Sanzo's head.

So Sanzo, against his better judgment, had stopped in a clearing next to a river. They had eaten and after that Sanzo was ready to get back on the road. The chibis' had other ideas. They decided to start a game of tag with Sanzo as the "it" person.

It really shouldn't have been that hard to catch three chibis' that could barely walk, but it _was_. Every time he caught one of them they would kick, scream, squirm, and squeal while he tried to catch the other two. He'd then eventually drop them and they'd run off again. Sanzo was at the end of his short line of patience.

So he stomped over to the bags of supplies and pulled out a length of rope that they had for no apparent reason. He spotted Gojyo running in his peripheral vision. Without hesitation he launched himself over to the chibi kappa.

Gojyo squealed and tried desperately to get away. It didn't work and Sanzo pinned the toddlers arms to his sides and tied the rope around them, tight enough to prevent escape but not tight enough to hurt. He then grabbed the end of the rope and lifted Gojyo off the ground by it. Gojyo dangled helplessly from the rope, a defeated look on the chibi's face.

Sanzo saw Hakkai next. He was quickly after him. The child tried to run but was inevitably caught. Sanzo then tied him up in the same way as Gojyo. He sat them under a tree and prepared to go for the quickest one, the saru.

Goku was hiding behind a tree, peeking out at Sanzo. Sanzo snuck around the other side of the tree. He reached to grab the bakasaru but the boy ran just in time. The gunman chased after him quickly.

Goku ran to the edge of the river and looked back at Sanzo. He was trapped and he knew it. Sanzo came forward, more slowly this time. Goku backed up slowly. "Come on saru. We have to go. The game is over." Sanzo said calmly.

"Daddy gotta catch Goku." the saru grinned. Sanzo came forward and Goku took another step back. It seemed that this was a step too far as the ground crumbled and Goku fell back, wide eyed, into the water.

"Fuck." Sanzo snarled as he ran over to the bank.

Goku surfaced, gasping and crying. "D-daddy!!!" he cried. Sanzo didn't hesitate a moment longer before he dove in after the chibi. He swam quickly over to the thrashing child and pulled him to his chest. The river wasn't going all that fast but it was pretty deep. Sanzo swam over to the shore and pulled himself out.

"I can _never_ get a fucking break, can I?" he asked no one in particular. He sat down a shivering Goku. "You done running around?" he asked the boy.

"U-uh huh." Goku nodded. Sanzo went over to get a towel and dry clothes for the stupid chibi. He pulled Gojyo and Hakkai over to where Goku was and started drying the saru. He was getting him into new clothes when he felt the aura's of tons of youkai coming towards them. No, he _really_ never got a break. Ever.

He looked to where the heard of youkai would be appearing any second. He then looked back to the three children who were defenseless. He would have to protect them. Damn.

"Listen, all of you. Bad people are coming. You need to stay quiet and I'm going to hide you." Sanzo explained hurriedly. He untied Hakkai and Gojyo and picked all of them up. He walked into the woods and hid them under a large bush. "Stay here and don't make a sound, okay?" all three of them nodded. "Jeep." Jeep flew up to Sanzo, landing on his shoulder. "Protect them." Jeep nodded and flew to rest on the bush.

Sanzo made his way back to he clearing just in time for the youkai heard to show up. They all laughed maliciously as Sanzo took out his gun. "Look at this. The great Sanzo all alone. Where are your traitorous little friends? They finally get a clue and abandon your ass?" the leader asked with a grin.

'So they don't know about the one year old thing. Good.' Sanzo thought as he shot the leader directly between the eyes. This was all it took for the youkai to begin attacking. Sanzo dodged blows from the miscellaneous weapons being thrust at him. He shot a few more youkai and dodged a sword that came dangerously close to his jugular.

There were too many of them. He was having a hard time dodging all the attacks and still being able to shoot back. A jagged sword sliced into his arm and he leapt back with a hiss of pain. He frowned and pressed his hands together. "On ma ni hatsu mei un… Makai Tenjou!" the Maten sutra unrolled from his shoulders and the last thing the youkai saw was Sanzo and a blinding, deadly, light.

Sanzo looked around quickly for any survivors. There were none. Sanzo sat down and pulled back his sleeve to look at the deep, jagged, cut. He frowned at the stinging pain. "Cheep? Cheep?" Jeep called as he flew out of the forest, the chibi brigade following him. When the kids saw Sanzo they ran over to him worriedly.

"Daddy!"

"Daddy get hurt?!" they all surrounded him, looking at the cut.

"Back off. Its just a cut. I'm fine." Sanzo bit out. He hated it when people worried over him. The chibis' still looked worried and Sanzo's irritation vanished slightly. "I'm really fine." he reassured them. "Its just a pain in the ass that you cant heal anymore." he looked at Hakkai. Hakkai, still sucking his thumb, patted his leg sympathetically.

Sanzo went and got the first aid kit and sat down to bandage his arm. The kids came over to stand by him and watch. When he finished Goku hugged his arm, the one not hurt, tightly. "Boo-boo hurt, daddy?" he asked cutely.

"Not to bad. I said its fine." Sanzo repeated. Hakkai patted his head this time. Gojyo came up and looked at the bandage. Then, just like Sanzo had done to him earlier, he kissed his own finger and pressed it lightly to the bandage. He then looked up to Sanzo with a grin.

"All better now, daddy?" he asked with a smile.

Sanzo had to stop himself from letting a smile onto his lips. Instead he snorted slightly and stood up. "The cut is perfectly fine, bakas'. Its too late to take off again. We'll sleep here tonight."

Goku and Gojyo let out a cheer while Hakkai took his thumb out of his mouth just long enough to clap a few times. "Diner time?" Goku asked with a smile. "Goku very much hungry."

"Yeah, yeah, what's new, saru?" Sanzo rolled his eyes. He gathered some wood to make a fire and then started feeding them diner. The chibis' ate until they were full and then curled up next to the fire on their sleeping bags and fell asleep. Sanzo stayed up to keep watch. It wasn't probable that there would be another youkai attack that night but it also wasn't impossible. So Sanzo stayed up and watched the fire while the chibis' slept easy.

***

"Lord Kougaiji, have you heard the rumors?" Yaone asked that evening.

"Yes. But it sounds impossible." Kougaiji shook his head at the ridiculous gossip. Now people were saying that Sanzo's comrades had been turned into infants. People would believe anything.

"That's just it Kou, it might be true. A few trust worthy scouts claim to have seen it." Dokugakuji frowned.

Kougaiji turned to look at his friends. They were serious. "Hm. Maybe we should go and see for ourselves." he said thoughtfully.

"That's what we thought, Kougaiji-sama." Yaone nodded.

"Fine. In the morning we'll head out to see if this rumor is true. Its probably not but who knows." Kougaiji decided.

"Hey! Your going to let me come too, right onii-chan?" Lirin asked hopefully.

"Nh. Fine. You can come along. But just this once." Kougaiji grinned at his little sister.

"Yay! Thank you onii-chan!" Lirin cheered.

"Everyone get some sleep. We leave first thing in the morning." Kougaiji offered them a smile before heading to his room.

**End Chapter**

Me: This chappie's pretty short, huh.

Hakkai: Its fine. It ended in the right place I think.

Me: You may be right.

Gojyo: Hey Sanzo, can you shut those two up? *points to Fred and Goku* They've been arguing over that Sailor Moon DVD for days.

Sanzo: I've shot them at least fifty times, yelled at them, and hit them with the fan until my arm was about to fall off. I'm done.

Goku: Its mine! *yanks on DVD*

Fred: No! Its mine! *yanks DVD back*

Goku: MINE!!!

Fred: MNE!!!!!!

Me: Shut up! Cant you both just watch it?!

*fighting stops*

Goku: Well…I guess we could do that.

Fred: Yeah. I guess.

Goku: Wait. Whose your favorite character?

Fred: Tuxedo Mask.

Goku: Me too! *both of them run off to watch DVD*

Hakkai: That's slightly…disturbing.

Me: Yeah. Sailor Moon claims another victim. *shakes head sadly*

Gojyo: I think they need an intervention.

Sanzo: *nods*

Me: Alright we'll plan an intervention later after I close the chappie. Thanks for reading, my friends! It means a really lot to me. _Please _review but no flames. They're, like, really hot.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5: Kougaiji Visits

Disclaimer: Yes!…wait…no.

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In the morning Sanzo built up the fire again and started cooking breakfast and making coffee for himself. The chibis were still curled up together like a bunch of puppies. Jeep was snuggled up on top of them. Sanzo smirked as Hakkai turned in his sleep and Goku, getting cold without him to snuggle up to, scooted over to cuddle again. If Sanzo was anyone else he would have thought it cute. Instead it was simply amusing.

"Come on chibis, wake up. Breakfast is ready." Sanzo gently nudged the tiny boys.

Hakkai sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily. He looked up and smiled at Sanzo before planting his thumb in his mouth. For some reason his constant thumb sucking was getting on Sanzo's nerves. So, he reached over and pulled the thumb out of the green eyed chibi's mouth.

Hakkai looked at him in an almost offended way that reminded Sanzo of the look he would get when he was an adult and one of them surprised him in a bad way. He continued to give Sanzo that look as he popped the appendage back in its rightful place in his mouth. Sanzo pulled it out again. Hakkai put it back in. this continued for many minutes with Goku and Gojyo, who had woken up by now, watching this small yet fierce battle. Sanzo once again pulled the thumb out. This time Hakkai didn't put it back in. This, of course, made Sanzo think that he had finally won. He really should have known better.

Hakkai's bottom lip started trembling and soon tears sprang into his eyes. Sanzo, seeing the train wreck coming, tried to avoid it. "Fine. Suck your goddamn thumb. Just don't cry." Hakkai sniffed and let out a small cry. To Sanzo's confusion the other two also started tearing up. They let out small cries and Sanzo sent a glare at the children. "Don't. Cry." he ordered.

This was when they all burst into loud, wailing, sobs. Sanzo was stuck trying to quiet them. He was a bit preoccupied, so it was no wonder that he didn't notice the dragons and their riders landing just a little ways away. "So its true." a slightly shocked voice came from behind Sanzo. He turned quickly to see Kougaiji and his little group.

Sanzo gave a sigh and the chibis stopped crying in favor of looking curiously at their guests. Hakkai's thumb was firmly planted in his mouth again. "Look, in case you haven't fucking noticed, I'm a little busy. I'm in no mood to fight with you today, your highness. However if you want to push me I wont hesitate to sutra your ass to hell." Sanzo growled.

"We didn't come to fight. We came to see if the rumors were true. It seems that they are." Kougaiji said, looking at Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai.

"Their all…_cute_ now!" Lirin said, rushing up to them. She kneeled next to them, smiling brightly.

The chibis looked to each of the new comers faces. Gojyo looked up to Dokugakuji who was starring at his younger brother with disbelieving eyes. "H-hey bro. Been a while since I've seen you like this." he managed. Gojyo starred up at him for a moment longer before his face split into a wide grin. Dokugakuji gave him a smile back.

Nearby, Yaone kneeled down to where Hakkai stood gazing curiously at her. He smiled cutely from behind his thumb. "I-its good to see you again Hakkai-san." she smiled.

"What exactly happened?" Kougaiji asked as he sat down next to Sanzo.

The priest gave another sigh. "I don't know exactly what caused it. Some sort of poison coated darts." Sanzo frowned. "Its complicated."

"We're not on a time schedule. Besides, as long as we're here Yaone and Lirin can take care of the little nuisances." Kougaiji pointed out.

Sanzo hated to admit that this was true, but it was. He might as well be happy that they were here as long as the chibis were distracted. He huffed and took out a Marlboro. Lighting it, he resituated himself into a more comfortable position and started telling the youkai prince all about what had happened.

Lirin and Yaone continued playing with the chibis while Dokugaku went to sit with Kou and Sanzo. Sanzo showed Kougaiji the darts that he had kept and continued with the story. The only thing he didn't tell the prince was that there might be someone who could cure the kids. If this man, Oza, could actually do something like Kanzeon said then Sanzo didn't want anyone to know about him. He couldn't ignore the fact that these people were his _enemies_. Even if they didn't act like it.

"So do you know what your going to do?" Dokugaku asked.

"No." lied Sanzo grudgingly.

"It sounds like the work of Ni Jianyi." Kougaiji said thoughtfully.

"Ni Jianyi? You mean Ukoku?" Sanzo had heard the other priest called this before when Dokugakuji had mentioned him.

"Ukoku? I don't know him." Kougaiji frowned.

"Ukoku Sanzo. He works in Houtou castle. I'm assuming that he uses the name Ni Jianyi as an alias." Sanzo explained. So Ukoku hadn't informed them that he was a Sanzo. It seemed he was all for aiding in the capturing of sutras from other Sanzos, but his sutra was another story. 'Tch, figures. Bastard.'

"Sanzo-san, if you don't mind, the kids are hungry again. I'm going to feed them." Yaone smiled over to him. She had already fed them lunch a couple of hours ago.

"Be my guest." Sanzo had no problem with her taking over the baby duties. He could really use the freaking break. What he found himself wondering most often now was why people would _ever _choose to have crazy little savages running around. Sanzo had no clue. And hadn't Hakkai once said that some day he wanted to have a house full of kids? Well the crazy bastard could have fun with that.

Sanzo looked back to Kougaiji. "The question is why would Ukoku want to turn the idiots into infants? Did he assume that it would be easier for the youkai assassins to finish me off?" Sanzo almost scoffed at the idea. He could take care of all the assassins on a bad day and escape with extremely minor wounds. No, Ukoku was planning something else. But what was it?

"We don't know what Ni is planning, but if you've met him then you know he's one deranged son of a bitch. His motives are never really clear at first." Kougaiji almost snarled. The memory of being forces to be that sick ass-holes doll was still fresh in his mind.

"I take it he was the one who brain washed you before?" Sanzo asked, stamping out his cigarette and reaching for another. Kougaiji looked at him and nodded hesitantly. "Hn. A mad scientist. Just what I freaking need."

"I bet." Dokugakuji smirked.

"We should go. Its getting late. We wont be back before dark as it is." Kougaiji looked to where the sun was just about to set. "Lirin, Yaone, we need to go." he called.

"But onii-chan! We're getting 'em into their jammies!" Lirin called. And, like she said, her and Yaone were busy getting them into clean diapers and their footy pajamas. Soon all three chibis were in comfy pjs. Hakkai's were a faded green, Gojyo's were red, and Goku's were light yellow.

"Daddy, friends come visit gain?" Goku asked as he came and sat on Sanzo's lap.

"Feh. Hell if I know. They can do whatever the hell they want." Sanzo grumbled. Gojyo came over next and sat on the ground next to Sanzo. He tried to imitate his daddy's cross legged, slightly slouched, way of sitting but just ended up falling over onto his side. He sat up again and this time decided to just lean against Sanzo's side. Yaone came over, carrying Hakkai. When he saw the others snuggling with their daddy he let out a little grunt and held his arms out to him.

Sanzo frowned up at him. "Do I look like I want any of you morons crawling on me? In fact, both of you get the hell off." he glared at Goku and Gojyo.

"Come now Sanzo-san. It seems that they really love you." Yaone smiled as she handed Hakkai to the grumpy priest.

"I don't want them to love me. I wish they'd go back to simply fearing me." Sanzo gave her a glare as Hakkai sat on his lap as well.

"Heh heh. You say that but it seems like you make a pretty good daddy." Dokugakuji laughed.

Sanzo sent him a death glare tat could have melted mettle. "You better shut the fuck up before I decide to remember that we're enemies." he threatened as he tried in vain to get the chibis off him.

"Yes, yes. We need to go." Kougaiji repeated.

"Alright. Bye-bye baldy Sanzo! Bye-bye chibis!" Lirin grinned. "We'll visit soon, yeah?"

"Go away and never come back. And stop calling me bald, brat!" Sanzo growled out. The group left, leaving Sanzo with the three tired chibis and Jeep. Sanzo built up the fire while thinking over what Kougaiji had said. 'His motives are never really clear at first.' Well he was sure that they'd become clear soon enough. Whether he liked it or not.

"It seems like there's only more crap coming chibis. And you three are absolutely no help like this." he gave a sigh. "Just go to sleep bakas."

The chibis climbed into the back of Jeep (with Sanzo's help.) and lay on the makeshift bed that was made of blankets on the back seats. "Daddy? Story?" Gojyo asked when Sanzo sat in the front seat.

"Fine. Once upon a time there were three chibis who bugged the unfortunate guy who had to take care of the all day. When night finally came they actually had the nerve to ask him for a story. This caused him to finally snap and shoot all of them. The guy continued on to India and had a much better time with it than he would have had with the little brats. And he lived happily ever after, the end." Sanzo said calmly and quietly. It was amazing that his short, rather violent, story actually got all three of them to sleep.

Sanzo smirked just a bit as Goku snuggled up to Hakkai who was steadily sucking his thumb while Gojyo lay beside him twirling his hair around his finger. They weren't so bad like this as long as they were asleep. Sanzo still wanted them back to normal as soon as possible, though. Ah well. That's what they were going to see this Oza guy for. In the mean time Sanzo made himself as comfortable as possible and settled into a light sleep.

***

Many miles away Kougaiji and co. continued on their way to Houtou castle. Kougaiji looked back to where Dokugaku was. The swordsman had been especially quiet ever since they had left Sanzo. His expression was caught somewhere between nostalgic and unsettled. "Dokugakuji, is something wrong?" Kou asked.

Dokugaku looked up to his prince and managed a half-hearted grin. "I guess I just wasn't expecting to ever see my bro like that again. It brings back a lot of memories. I can still remember when he was like that when we were kids. He was cute as hell but that didn't stop my mom from beating him. I can still hear him asking me why mommy didn't love him. It wasn't like I could have given him an answer. At that age I barely knew myself." he chuckled humorlessly.

"I know. But its not like that any more. Your brother, all of them, seem happy. Sanzo may not want to admit it but they do love him. They've obviously chosen him to get attached to." Kougaiji smiled back to him.

"Yeah. I guess your right." Dokugaku smiled.

"I hope Sanzo-san will be able to protect them." Yaone said suddenly.

"Yeah. Looks like he'll have to. There's a storm coming." Kougaiji frowned as they continued to the palace.

**End Chapter**

Me: The intervention with Goku and Fred about their Sailor Moon obsession didn't go so well, huh?

Gojyo: No! It didn't.

Hakkai: It seems that they are more stubborn than we first thought.

Sanzo: You could have helped Holysinner. Lazy ass.

Gojyo: I don't see why you two are complaining. Those fuckers didn't attack you two. *glares at Sanzo and Hakkai*

Hakkai: Well you were a little harsh.

Gojyo: All I said was that Sailor Moon was a girly show and they were acting gay.

Hakkai: Yes. That's what I meant.

Me: I guess you wont say that near them again. How did they even bend your leg like that?

Gojyo: Painfully.

Me: I bet.

Sanzo: Can you even heal that, Hakkai?

Hakkai: I should be able to. But I'll have to break it back into place. *grabs Gojyo's leg and does this before he can argue.*

Gojyo: Shit! That fucking hurts! Stop smiling while you do this you sadistic S.O.B!

Hakkai: *smiles* Please stay still. *pushes leg painfully back into place*

Me: Hehehe. Its kinda funny when Gojyo's hurt.

Sanzo: *nods in agreement*

Gojyo: I hate you people!

Me: Anyways! I would like to apologize. This chappie would have been up about a week earlier but while I was typing it the first time my computer went fucking retarded and lost the entire thing! I only had like a sentence to go! Needless to say I was _pissed._ I came very close to putting my fist through my ass of a computer. Luckily I didn't. but I just couldn't get myself to type this for a while without shaking in Sanzo-like rage. I swear if I had had a Smith&Wesson handy my computer would be nothing but a bad memory. But anyhow! Thank you all my dear readers for joining me! I greatly appreciate it. Please review! Its not hard! You just click that box that goes green when you put the arrow on it. So easy! But please no flames. They hurt my spirit in a way that's even more painful than a broken leg.

Gojyo: My ass!

Me: Oh shut up.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6: Attempted Kidnapping

Disclaimer: Nope.

* * *

It had been two days since Kougaiji's visit and Sanzo and chibi co. were running dangerously low on diapers, baby food, milk, any other supply really. Luckily for them they had finally reached town that afternoon. It wasn't a big town but it was still civilization and it got the chibi's happy.

Sanzo took the out of their carseats and stood them on the ground. All three looked around as if to determine where to run to first. "Don't even think about it chibis'. come on, we're getting a room." Sanzo ordered, walking into a pretty nice inn and going up to the receptionist's desk.

He got a double room and began on the irritating task of getting all the bags into the room. He fondly remembered the days when he hadn't had to carry anything into the inns. He would just tell Goku or Gojyo to do it and shoot at them until they stopped complaining. And he used to think those days were bad.

After he was done he turned to the chibis. "Come on brats. We're going out to eat." He said, the boys followed him closely as they left the inn. They went to a relatively nice restaurant and that is where Sanzo discovered something about the chibis. They had a serious lack of the ability to sit in regular chairs.

"Sit still, saru." Sanzo growled as Goku wiggled out of his seat yet again so that he had to be placed back into it. Gojyo was also wiggling and Sanzo could tell that in the future he would have to replace him into the seat as well.

That's when he spotted a mother sitting with a child. The kid was in a special chair that buckled to prevent him from wiggling out of the it. Sanzo looked over to a wall that had the same kind of chairs lined up against it. He immediately flagged down a waitress. "Bring me three of those chairs please."

"Yes sir." the waitress smiled. She brought the requested chairs quickly, sitting them down with a overly cheery smile. The chibis, or at least Goku and Gojyo, were starring at them as if they were some kind of cruel torture devises. Sanzo grabbed Goku before the chibisaru knew what was happening and buckled him into the seat. The saru immediately began struggling. Then Sanzo's sights turned to Gojyo who had been trying to sneak away unnoticed. He got grabbed up quickly.

"No daddy! No!" the kappa shouted.

"To bad." Sanzo said calmly. "Now get in the seat you little baka." Gojyo tried to continue to resist but in the end Sanzo was the winner and he was strapped into the seat beside Goku.

Sanzo turned to look at Hakkai who was busy gnawing on a carrot. When the toddler noticed his daddy looking at him he lifted his arms in acceptance to being put in the seat. Sanzo couldn't help but smirk a bit. 'The only one who wants to be put in a seat is the only one who can sit still. Tch. Figures.' He picked Hakkai up and carefully buckled him in as well.

He was finally able to sit down and continue with his meal. Goku and Gojyo continued to struggle in their seats while Hakkai sat contently. They were almost finished when Sanzo felt numerous youkai auras heading towards them.

Sanzo jumped to his feat without hesitation and quickly unbuckled the chibis. He had two minutes at the most to hide them. The chibis were looking at their daddy confused as Sanzo rushed to hide them behind the bar. It wasn't the best hiding spot but it was the best he had at the moment. He looked at the chibis seriously, "Stay here. Don't make a sound."

The bar keep was just turning toward him to ask what he was doing behind the bar when two dozen youkai burst through the windows in the front of the restaurant. People were immediately in an uproar. They were running and screaming, trying anything to get away. In all the confusion the youkai were having a hard time locating the priest who was their goal.

Sanzo was just trying to stay out of sight for the time being. Hoping that he wouldn't attract to much attention, he looked around quickly and called, "Jeep!" The little dragon quickly flew to him, landing on his shoulder with a cheep. "Make sure no one hurts the kids." He ordered. The dragon gave a quick nod and Sanzo jumped up from behind the bar, pulling his gun. He shot three of the youkai in vital areas before any of them had even spotted him.

"There's the bastard!" one of them yelled, pointing to Sanzo. Most of the youkai charged at Sanzo to attack but there were five that broke away from them and began to look for something.

"Where are the kids?! They have to be around here somewhere!" one of the five yelled.

'Shit. They found out about the brats. Damn that fricking Ukoku.' Sanzo cursed in his head. His eyes quickly shot over to the bar. The chibis were peaking out from behind it and Sanzo cursed. They needed to stay hidden.

He continued to kill as many as possible without drawing attention to the poorly hidden children. He shot two more youkai and ran out of bullets. 'Fuck' He used his gun to stop a sword that was aimed at his face with a bit of difficulty. Once the sword was brought to a halt he aimed a hard punch to the youkai's throat. The youkai backed up struggling for breath. This gave Sanzo enough time to grab his dropped sword and kill him.

"Cheep! Cheep!" Jeep said loudly. Sanzo turned to see that Hakkai had slipped out from behind the bar and was currently laying in plain sight of every one in the restaurant.

"There's one of them!" one of the youkai yelled. Sanzo swung the dead youkai's sword and sliced across the back of this youkai's neck.

One of the youkai grabbed Hakkai up by the scruff of his shirt and held him up high above the floor. Hakkai's eyes were wide and fearful as he spotted Sanzo. He gave him a helpless panicked look but still didn't speak. "Make sure he doesn't get hurt." one of them yelled to the youkai holding Hakkai.

'What?' Sanzo wondered. 'Why wouldn't they want him hurt?'

Hakkai, scared out of his mind, began to tear up and soon gave out a wailing cry. From behind the bar two other cries sounded. 'Fuck.' Sanzo thought. Every time Hakkai cried so did the other two for some reason.

Still using the sword, Sanzo killed two more of the youkai. There were only about nine of the youkai left but Sanzo was badly injured. One of the youkai had caught him across the back with a sword. He could feel the hot, sticky blood soaking through his clothes.

"Hey! There's the other two!" one yelled. He grabbed the other two crying chibis by the back of their shirts. With an angry cheep Jeep flew at one of the youkai's faces, clawing and biting harshly. The youkai struggled to beat the furious dragon away from him. In doing so he gave Sanzo all the opening he needed to slice the fool in half.

'Eight to go.' Sanzo thought, turning to the others. "Put the brats down." he ordered in a commanding voice.

"Heh heh heh. You've got no chance Sanzo. We're going to kill you, take the kids, _and _take your sutra while we're at it." one laughed.

Sanzo pulled his gun, freshly loaded, and shot him right between the eyes. 'Seven.' he thought, glaring at the remaining youkai.

"Don't come any closer. We'll kill them." The one holding Hakkai threatened. Hakkai cried louder, Goku and Gojyo also giving fearful cries.

"Daddy!" Goku yelled tearfully, holding his arms out desperately.

"You wont hurt them. Its against your orders, right?" Sanzo asked as he aimed at the youkai. He turned faster that they would have guessed possible and killed four more of the youkai. There were only three left now. He turned to the last three again. "Give me the kids. If you hand them over I'll kill you quickly."

"N-no way. You're going to die!" the one who wasn't holding any of the chibis yelled. He charged forward in a very suicidal attempt to get a hit on the monk. With a quick slice of the sword Sanzo had him tripping over his own intestines. He fell to the floor with a dying gurgle.

"D-don't come near us. W-we'll k-kill the kids." the one holding Goku and Gojyo stammered.

"If you hurt them I'll send you to hell screaming." Sanzo glared, accidentally letting some protectiveness show for the kids. He took a measured step closer.

"Stop!" the one with Hakkai yelled. He held a silver dagger to the frightened chibis throat. His eyes said tat he wouldn't hesitate to disobey orders if it meant he would live. Sanzo stood still. "Drop the sword!" the desperate youkai ordered.

Sanzo dropped the sword without hesitation. Hakkai was silently crying now, to scared to make even a sobbing noise. Goku had his eyes scrunched up tight, not wanting to see the bad men that could hurt him and his friends. Gojyo was crying as well, letting tiny whimpers escape.

The youkai grinned at his own genius. Sanzo wouldn't kill him if he was holding the kid hostage. He motioned his comrade that was holding Goku and Gojyo out the door and followed quickly. 'Idiots.' Sanzo thought with a slight smirk. He had been loading his gun behind his back ever since he had dropped the blade. He pulled it as soon as their backs were turned and introduced one bullet each to the back of their skulls.

They dropped in a bloody heap, the three chibis letting out wailing cries. Sanzo walked over to them and gathered them all up. They clung to him, shaking and crying. Sanzo allowed it stoically. They were, after all, only children now. They were terrified and possibly traumatized. "Its alright chibis. Lets get to the room." Sanzo whispered, trying to put them even slightly at ease. The crying slowed a bit but they were all still clinging to him like a life line. The priest took them into the inn and then headed strait to the baths. The three had blood from their would-be kidnappers all over them. Sanzo wasted no time getting rid of their clothes and drawing a tub of warm water. He tried to do this quickly, he was still bleeding though it had slowed some.

"Daddy?" Goku asked as Sanzo scrubbed his hair.

"Hn?"

"W-why bad guys wants ta take Goku an' Gojyo an' Hakkai from daddy?" he asked, looking up at Sanzoish curious golden eyes.

"Because they're idiots. If they knew how much trouble you three were they'd never have even tried to take you." Sanzo explained, moving to scrub Gojyo's hair.

The chibi kappa was being uncharacteristically quiet. He hadn't even complained about taking a bath, which was very odd. Instead he was sitting quietly in the bath water, his head down. 'Might have went into shock.' Sanzo thought with a frown. "You alright, kappa?" he asked as he finished lathering Hakkai's hair and began to rinse.

"Mm-hm." He whispered. Sanzo was slightly surprised to feel himself getting annoyed by the sad attitude. Especially since this was supposed to be a man who he could barely stand. Why the hell was he feeling worried for _Sha Gojyo_? He really wasn't cut out for stuff like this. So he did the only thing that made any sense to him. He took out his fan-o-doom and introduced it to the kappa's head.

He didn't hit nearly as hard as he would if Gojyo were still an adult but it was still hard enough to make the kappa clutch his head and give a little surprised yell. He looked up at his daddy with a confused gaze.

"You need to calm down baka. None of what happened today was your fault or anything stupid like that. And everything turned out fine." Sanzo glared at him. Gojyo starred at him with wide eyes until his face split into a grin. "What are you smiling about, brat?"

"Nothsing." Gojyo smiled.

***

It had taken a while to get the chibis asleep in their own bed, and Sanzo would bet his sutra that they'd be in his bed within the hour. How had this happened? He _never_ wanted anything like this. hadn't he decided that he didn't want anyone to protect? How the hell was he supposed to keep them safe from all the people who wanted to hurt or kill them? He couldn't fight if he was constantly keeping an eye on them. But damn if there wasn't another choice. He would have to protect them because they couldn't protect themselves.

What was really bothering Sanzo was what the youkai had said earlier. They hadn't wanted to hurt the chibis. They had been ordered to capture them. But why? What could be the point of taking them away? They were more of a hindrance to him right where they were.

It obviously had something to do with Ukoku. That bastard was still playing with them. For some reason he wanted the chibis and no matter what it was he wanted them for it was sure to suck…hard.

Sanzo turned to look at the chibis when he heard a noise. Hakkai was crying in his sleep from a nightmare. Sanzo got up and went over to the bed. He was forcibly reminded of when he was still a kid, only about five or six, when he would have nightmares. Koumyou had always woke him up with a calm smile and soothing words.

Sanzo gently shook the boys shoulder and Hakkai woke with a start. "Its alright. It was just a bad dream." he whispered, not wanting to wake the other two. Hakkai held his arms up, wanting to be held. Sanzo sighed inwardly and picked him up. Hakkai patted his cheek and snuggled up to him.

It was Hakkai who had helped him bandage his wound earlier. Him passing the bandages back to Hakkai and Hakkai passing them around as they wrapped it around the priest's torso. The whole process just made Sanzo wish they were adults again that much harder.

Sanzo gave another sigh and carried the boy over to his own bed. He lay down, bringing the chibi with him. Hakkai snuggled up to his side contently. Sanzo wasn't quite asleep when Goku and Gojyo crawled onto the bad as well. The last thing Sanzo was aware of before he drifted off to sleep was Jeep curling up at the foot of the bed.

**End Chapter**

Me: Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Whew, I haven't updated this fic in like forever! My most sincere apologies.

Sanzo: Like anyone really cares that much.

Gojyo: Bakasaru! Stop scarfing the damn turkey!

Goku: No! Holysinner said I could have it!

Me: I said you could have a_ piece, _Goku. Not the whole bird.

Hakkai: Yes Goku. It would be nice if you could share.

Goku: B-but…*Tries chibi eyes*

Sanzo: That wont work. *beating commences*

Goku: Ow! Quit it!

Fred: Hey Goku! There's pumpkin pie in the fridge! Lets go eat it!

Goku: Okay! *rushes to join muse*

Me: Goku! Fred! You stay away from that dessert! I'll kill you guys! *runs to defend food* Come help me Gojyo!

Gojyo: *grumbled but still runs to assist author*

Hakkai: Um…isn't anyone going to close the chapter?

Sanzo: *Shrugs from behind his newspaper*

*loud fighting noised come from in the kitchen*

Hakkai: Well…I guess I'll do it. Thank all of you for reading. It means a lot to Holysinner. It would be very kind of you to send a review but no flames. They're just rude…*smiles*


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7: A New Enemy

Disclaimer: Nope.

* * *

Ukoku strolled down an old dirt road that cut through the middle of an ancient forest. He was dressed in his Sanzo garb, the white version for now. It was raining, not pouring, not drizzling, just raining at a sure steady pace. It turned the road into mud but Ukoku needed to make this little trip. No matter how far back into the wilderness it was.

The little dirt road ended and an overgrown, almost invisible, path began. Roots from the enormous trees stuck up in the path, making the whole journey frustrating at best. But Ukoku was actually in a rather good mood for someone trenching through mud, twigs, and leaves. He let out a little hum as he went. The path went on for about a mile and ended at a small clearing.

In the clearing was a small one bedroom house. It was amazingly well kept for somewhere so far out. He approached it and entered without knocking. He smirked and took five measured steps into the house and then stopped. From behind, he had twin katanas at his throat. His smirk never left his face as he spoke. "Its good to see you again, little bird." He heard a gasp and the blades were taken away. He turned to see a young woman looking at him in shock.

"M-master Sanzo." she stuttered. The woman before him was just as beautiful as he remembered. Her hair hung to her waist and was a lovely light lavender with sky blue streaks going down the length of it. Her eyes were blue gems that shone with an unshakable innocents and always looked on the verge of tears. She wore a light blue short sleeved dress that went down to her knees. She was a rare beauty, none could deny that.

"You're looking well Kage." Ukoku grinned.

"What are you doing here master Ukoku? Its been too long! How are you? Come, I'll make us tea." Kage gave him a beautifully open smile. Ukoku followed her into a small kitchen where she motioned for him to take a seat. She went about making tea while Ukoku took in the little house. It may have been small but it had a nice cozy feel to it. Kage had been alone here for almost seven years.

"Still hiding yourself away, little bird?" Ukoku grinned.

Kage sighed. "Its just that I'm still afraid, master. I don't want to be around other people. They scare me." she whispered.

"I know my little song bird. After what they did to you it would be disturbing if you could just go back." Ukoku pasted on a sympathetic grin.

He had come across Kage seven years ago in a field of corpses. She had been a wife to a man who had gotten himself obsessed with some kind of cult that believed you had to sacrifice your oldest child to earn the gods love. Kage had one child at the time. His name had been River. She hadn't known what was going to happen when her husband took her to some kind of ceremony to celebrate Rivers first birthday. But she found out rather quickly when the leader of the cult had raised that ornamental dagger and continued to plunge it into Rivers heart.

This was how Ukoku had found out how very powerful Kage was. The power that had ripped from her body had torn every one of those cult members to shreds. She had done it effortlessly without so much as a thought. He knew as well that she could even kill him without much effort and he wouldn't be able to do anything to stop her. Kage's powers were very comparable to the magnificent force that was the seiten taisei except they were fully under her control. He had jumped at the task to make friends with her. He had been there to comfort her and help her burry the body of her beloved son. He had known that she would come in handy one day and he had been right. For someone who had such outstandingly terrifying power she had a weak mind which could be bent to his own devices. He smirked.

"Why are you here master Ukoku?" she asked, sitting down and handing the priest a cup of tea.

"…I'm here to ask a favor. You see I'm having a problem with someone. I need you to help me." Ukoku sighed.

"What happened?" Kage asked worriedly.

"There's a certain man who has been causing a lot of people some grief lately. He's killed everyone that's been sent after him and now it seems that he's kidnapped three children. The children's parents came to me and asked for help. The problem is that I cant get near him. He's powerful and escapes every time." Ukoku lied easily. It helped that Kage had no idea about the extent of his powers. Him not being able to catch someone. Ha.

Kage's eyes widened at the mention of kidnapped kids. "What did he take the children for?" she asked, her voice somber.

Ukoku mentally smirked. He had her now all right. "He's one of the few survivors of the cult that you nearly wiped out. He's taking them to sacrifice them." he said evenly. He could see the sudden rage that sprung into Kage's eyes. This was all too easy, getting Kage to do as he wished. All she needed to hear was that there were children in danger and she would kill whoever was responsible without mercy. It also helped that she trusted Ukoku completely.

"You want me to kill this man?" she asked quietly.

"I need you to distract him long enough for me to get the children away from him. You have to be careful, he keeps the kids with him at all times, but if you can get them separated then it would be perfect." he said in a soft voice.

"Yes. I'll get them without fail." Kage promised. She never wanted to see another child die. Not after her little River. It still hurt like a knife to the heart to think about what had happened. Even after six years.

"You're a life saver, my song bird." Ukoku smiled to her.

"Where is he?"

***

Kage had found this Genjyo Sanzo easily. He was currently at an inn with the three little ones. He yelled at them often but they just smiled, played, and laughed. They didn't even know that they were being taken to their deaths.

'I wonder if that's what River was like when they took him.' she thought sadly. It would have been his birthday soon. A tear escaped and ran down her cheek. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She couldn't think of this now. She couldn't afford to be weak.

She turned to look back into the window to see the three kids jumping on the bed merrily and she smiled. She had done that with River when he was alive. Her on her knees jumping next to him while they both giggled. The words that her husband had said after River was killed came back to her once again. 'It had to happen Kage. he didn't feel a thing and we can always have another child.' She shook her head again to rid her mind of the memories. She would save these children and she would make this Genjyo Sanzo _wish_ she had killed him.

**End Chapter**

Me: Wow. Its hard to believe that this was supposed to be chuck full of comedy. Its taking a rather angsty turn. I would also like to apologize for the very short chappie.

Hakkai: I'm sure they'll forgive you.

Me: One can only hope. Oh and don't worry, the next chapter will be all Saiyuki boys. I know that there are some people who really don't like chapters like this…please don't flame me.

Gojyo: Hell, I'd flame you. Who do you think these people read this fic for? Me of course. *smirks.*

Sanzo: My ass.

Gojyo: What'd you say?!

Sanzo: And now he cant understand spoken language. Pathetic.

Hakkai: Now, now.

Goku: Hey Holysinner? How much do you care about your Christmas tree?

Me:…Why?

Goku: Heh heh. Well I was kinda reaching for one of the presents under the tree to shake it an' try to tell what was inside an' the tree kinda…fell over.

Me: WHAT?!?!?!

Goku: Um…bye. *Runs*

Me: GET BACK HERE SARU!!!!!

Hakkai: Oh dear. Holysinner please don't kill him!

Goku: HELP ME!!!!!!

Hakkai: Sanzo be ever so helpful and close, would you? *runs to help Goku*

Sanzo: Wha-? Why me?! Ugh, fine. Holysinner says thanks and whatever. Don't be a prick and flame because Holysinner seems to look to me for comfort. So don't. *glares*


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8: The Mad Sorcerer, Oza.**

**Disclaimer: …Nuh uh.**

* * *

**It had been another week and Sanzo was **_**finally**_** getting to the town at the base of the mountain. For some reason the chibis hadn't been getting on his nerves as much as before. It wasn't like they had stopped doing any of their annoying things which led Sanzo to think he was just getting used to them like this…damn.**

"**Daddy, we go ou-side an play?" Gojyo asked. It was a sunny day and all three of the kids were about to burst from riding in the jeep for so long. If they had to stay in the inn room that Sanzo had just reserved they would literally explode.**

**Lucky for them Sanzo had to go outside anyway. It wasn't like this Oza guy was just going to come to the inn. And Sanzo wanted this to be over with. "Fine. We'll go outside." Sanzo answered. The chibis all gave happy yells, or at least Goku and Gojyo did. Hakkai simply clapped.**

**Sanzo led them outside and they all ran around happily. Sanzo went to the nearest local to ask for directions to this Oza's house. "Excuse me. Do you know where a man named Oza lives?" Sanzo asked a young woman.**

"**You're looking for Oza? Why on earth would you do that?" the woman asked, causing Sanzo to curse nosy people.**

"**I was told he could help me with something." Sanzo glared.**

"**Oh, okay. Well there's a path over there that will lead you strait to his house but let me warn ya. Oza is a little bit insane. He might say some pretty weird things." the woman explained.**

"**I'll be fine." Sanzo reassured. He thanked her and turned to find the chibis. They were all playing with a stray cat that had wandered up to them. Sanzo marched over and snatched them away from it. Not quick enough for the chibis not to be covered in cat hair. He let out a sneeze. "Damn it." he grumbled as he scratched his nose.**

**He set the chibis down away from the cat. "Don't play with disgusting animals. If you're going to pet something pet Jeep." he scowled at them. They all nodded. "Now come on. We're going to visit someone."**

**They followed him obediently as he started walking. They had been getting a bit batter at doing what they were told. "Who we are vis-ting, daddy?" Goku asked, looking up at his daddy.**

"**Someone who can hopefully fix what happened to you three." Sanzo looked down at him.**

"**Oh." Goku said, deciding that going to pick the flower growing on the edge of the path was more important then the conversation.**

**The path that led to the house looked as if it wasn't used very often. There were roots and branches that littered the road and offered many obstacles for small children to trip over. Sanzo was doing his best to help the kids. Hakkai and Goku needing the most help of the three. There was a thump from behind Sanzo and he turned to see Gojyo sprawled out on the ground.**

"**Are you alright, kappa?" Sanzo asked as Gojyo pushed himself up.**

"**Yes. I trip over damn stick." he glared at said stick.**

**Sanzo turned, starring at Gojyo and hoping that her hadn't just heard the one-year-old say what he thought he said. "What did you say?" he asked.**

"**I trip over damn stick." Gojyo looked at his daddy, wondering what was wrong.**

"**Gojyo, you don't say damn." Sanzo ordered, glaring.**

"**But daddy says it." Gojyo said, tilting his head to the side, confused.**

"**That's because I'm an adult." Sanzo snapped at the baka. Probably angry because he was forced to acknowledge the fact that he was a pretty bad influence. The priest decided to push this little bit of insight into the back of his mind and continue on.**

**The four walked about half a mile before they came to a clearing. In the clearing was a small hut that did even have the right to be called a house. They all approached the house when Sanzo heard a loud yell from behind the hut. He raced around it to see an extremely old man yelling into the forest.**

**Sanzo walked up to stand beside the man who he presumed to be Oza. The old man didn't seem to take any notice of his visitors. "Get off me lawn you damn kids! I don't want to be bothered! Leave me alone!" he yelled into the trees.**

"**Oza?" Sanzo asked, giving him an odd look. Oza turned to look at him. The old mans face was lined with more wrinkles that one would believe possible. His hair was white and slightly wispy. His eyes were a bright gold that were quite a bit lighter than Goku's deep amber orbs. He wore black pants and a black shirt.**

**Oza's eyes slowly focused on the confused priest and he blinked in surprise before shouting, "It's JESUS!!!!!"**

**Sanzo was so startled by this that the only thing he could even think to say was, "Wha?"**

"**Jesus you have to help me! Can you get these kids off my lawn?! Please?! All they do is stand there all day long like a bunch of **_**trees**_**!" the old man growled the last word as he pointed at the forest.**

"**My name is not Jesus and those **_**are**_** trees." Sanzo pointed out. Kanzeon just **_**had**_** to point his to this lunatic didn't she.**

"**I know. Standing there all day…its unnatural." Oza frowned, glaring at the trees that seemed to be his problem.**

"…**Right. I'm here to ask you to make an antidote for these three. Those two are supposed to be twenty two and that one is supposed to be eighteen. Can you fix them?" Sanzo asked, trying to keep a firm hold on his patience.**

**Oza turned fully towards him once more and starred up at him. He took a deep breath and yelled, "I DON'T WANT YOUR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!!!!!"**

**Sanzo's patience died a swift death. "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME YOU DAMN GEEZER!?!?!?!?"**

"**Of course I am young man. No reason to shout." Oza said as if he were a perfectly sane human being. "Now you say they should be adults? Well that is a problem. Come inside." Sanzo followed, making sure the chibis came along. The inside of the hut was much larger then one was led to believe when looking at the outside. However it was extremely cluttered. Antiques and tons of books littering every surface. Oza pushed some miscellaneous items off a chair and invited Sanzo to sit. "So tell me what happened."**

**Sanzo explained the entire situation to Oza. The elderly man listening intently. When Sanzo was finished, having been interrupted a few times by the chibis getting into things that they shouldn't, Oza adopted a thoughtful look. "Hm. I see. You have a hard battle coming boy. I can change them back but it will take a few days."**

"**Is there any way you could make it a bit faster? We're in a bit of a hurry." Sanzo asked impatiently, wondering about the hard battle that the old man had mentioned.**

"**Patience boy! The potion I will make is extremely dangerous! If I do one thing wrong it could easily make their heads explode!" Oza exclaimed.**

"…**That's not very comforting." Sanzo commented.**

"**No, I guess its not." Oza said thoughtfully.**

"**So how many days will it be?" Sanzo asked with a sigh. He was actually relieved that it would only be a few more days until his idiot companions would be back to normal.**

**Oza turned to look at Sanzo dead in the eye. He stared at him for a full minute before his eyes widened fearfully and a halberd appeared in his hands from nowhere. "Get off my lawn!" he shouted, swinging his halberd at Sanzo. The priest barely managing to dodge.**

"**Get some sanity you senile bastard!!!" Sanzo yelled back as he continued to dodge the weapon.**

"**Who are you?! Why are you in my house?! Get off my lawn! I DON'T WANT YOUR ACORNS!!!!!" Oza continued screaming.**

**Sanzo finally snapped and pulled his fan-o-doom. He quickly beat the old man on the head. Through all of this the chibis had been laughing uproariously.**

"**Ow! What do you think you're doing?! Hitting an old man on the head. You need to calm down, boy." Oza rubbed his head.**

"**I could stay calm if **_**you**_** would stay sane!" Sanzo exclaimed. This was starting to be a very big pain in the ass. That damn "merciful" goddess had said that he was a **_**little**_** off. Sanzo didn't thing he was off. This bastard was miles away from any kind of sanity.**

"**Listen well boy. A goddess comes from wind. A vengeance on her shoulders. Dark threads of lies and insanity weave her hatred. Cut the ties and expose the truth. Do it. For if you do not she will destroy you." Oza said in a dark tone, his wrinkled face taking on a somber and almost young looking appearance.**

**Sanzo starred at him with wide eyes. It was a voice of prophecy that the man talked in and the words rang of truth. "Are you going crazy again old man?" he dared to ask.**

"**No. And I'm not old." Oza said, his voice becoming light again. "Now get out of my house Jesus. I'm not Christian and I don't want any cookies."**

"…**Right. You are going to remember to make the potion right?" he asked. It seemed like there was a good chance the old man would simply forget this important task.**

"**And who are you?" Oza asked. Sanzo gave a long sigh.**

"**Genjyo Sanzo. Kanzeon Bosatsu sent me so that you could change them back to their actual ages." Sanzo explained through clenched teeth.**

"**I know that. Jeeze. I'll have it ready in three of four days." Oza said airily. This entire meeting was exhausting Sanzo.**

"**Good. I'll be leaving now." Sanzo stood up and motioned for the kids to follow him. Oza followed them out and promptly went back to yelling at trees.**

**As Sanzo walked back to the inn he couldn't help but think about what Oza had said. **_**'A goddess comes from wind. A vengeance on her shoulders.'**_** 'What does it mean?' the priest wondered, shaken from his thoughts when Hakkai took his hand. The green eyes toddler smiling up at his daddy around his thumb. 'I guess we'll see.'**

*******

**Kage continued watching the blond man. He didn't treat the children particularly bad. He yelled a lot and threatened often but he never struck them. And the children seemed to adore him. They called him daddy and were constantly trying to get him to play. He never would but every night he would tell them a story. Reading out of a book that she had seen the little golden eyed brunette bring him.**

**The man was always trying to get them to sit down and be quiet. But all in all to Kage's eyes he seemed just like a stressed single father. 'I'm so confused.' she thought as she watched him tuck the kids into bed. He always tucked them in even though they all ended up in his bed by morning.**

**She recalled what Ukoku had told her. 'He wont seem to be overly cruel to the children. He may even seem to care for them. Do not doubt that it is an act. He is part of a heathen religion and disguises himself as a Sanzo. He goes by the name Genjyo Sanzo. He needs to be destroyed, song bird.'**

**But as she watched him read there was a…softness in his eyes. Barely visible and very well hidden. 'It's the same look your husband used to wear when he looked at River.' a cruel voice spoke in Kage's head. She had always thought her husband had loved their son. She had been proven wrong.**

"**I'll not weaken in my resolve. No matter if it does look like he cares. I wont be fooled again." she said out loud with finality. "Tomorrow."**

****End Chapter****

**Me: Happy late Valentines day people! I hope you all found love and if not don't worry. Someone out there loves you!**

**Sanzo: No. No one loves any of you. Your all pathetic.**

**Gojyo: What's up your ass?**

**Me: Sanzo's sad because he didn't get a valentine! Don't worry! I luvs you Sanzo-chan!!! *Glomps Sanzo***

**Sanzo: Damnit get off me!!! *reaches for gun***

**Hakkai: Um…Holysinner who gave you chocolate?**

**Me: Uh…well me an Goku an Fred went an bought some valentines day candy. Its always cheaper after the actual holiday. *still holding Sanzo.***

**Gojyo: So…how much chocolate did the monkey and the muse get?**

**Me: I dunno. Lots. No more then fifty boxes.**

**Hakkai&Gojyo&Sanzo: FIFTY BOXES?!**

**Me:…each.**

**Sanzo: That's it. I'm going to Antarctica. There is no Valentines day there. *heads for the door***

**Hakkai: I think I'll join you Sanzo.**

**Gojyo: Same here.**

***All three leave***

**Me: Oh well. They'll be back. In the mean time, thank you ever so much for reading. It means more to me then you know. Please review! It would make a nice late Valentines present for me. For now I will go eat more candy!**


End file.
